Step 1: Order an Oliver + S pattern and wait for it to be delivered to your door.
Step 4: Trace patterns onto fabric. Cut out tracings. Forget to transfer most marks onto fabric. Go to bed.
Step 5: Begin following instructions. Understand life and why it exists. All is well. Get halfway done. Go to bed.
Step 6: Begin sleeve construction. Curse all women in your family for not teaching you how to sew. Remember that maternal grandmother did try. Curse yourself for playing with Barbies instead.
Step 7: Text friends. Hold seam ripper. Stare at fabric wad. Go to bed.
Step 8: Continue sleeve construction. Find sewing forums and beg for help. Click “refresh” button waiting for answers. Give up. Go to bed.
Step 9: Summon up all patience and keep following instructions. Start making up your own version of a shirt. Begin asking self deep questions about what the essence of a shirt is, really.
Step 10: Ignore instructions. Keep sewing. Eat pizza. Sew on buttons. You may feel cracked out but you made a shirt! High-five self til you fall asleep.